96. Hey Willpower – P.D.A.

Hey Willpower
P.D.A.
(Tomlab)
release date: January 22, 2008

Metascore: 48 out of 100
Metacritic user score: 8.0 out of 10

Representative Critical Commentary: “Simply put: the lyrics are simply too vacuous and cliched, the production tinny and lacking any real thump, and Schwartz’ charm? Nowhere to be found.” – MDillon, Tiny Mix Tapes [read full review]

A while back, during an episode of The Best Show On WFMU, a caller spoke incredulously of the acting choices that some well-known comedians make (I think he was talking about David Cross’s appearance in the Alvin & The Chipmunks reboot). The host of the show, Tom Scharpling, was quick to remind the caller that he shouldn’t think less of Cross, or whomever it was, for taking an acting job like that because that movie is “not for us.” Their intended audience is kids who need their daily recommended allowance of fart and poop jokes, not the folks who argue over which is the best Dirtbombs record.

97. Korn – Take A Look In The Mirror

Korn
Take A Look In The Mirror
(Epic/Immortal)
release date: November 21, 2003

Metascore: 49 out of 100
Metacritic user score: 8.6 out of 10

Representative Critical Commentary: “Take A Look In The Mirror doesn’t just sound like a bad album, it sounds like a broken record.” – New Musical Express

Representative Metacritic User Commentary: “I liked a good majority of songs on this alblum although I do have to admit they fell of pace with this alblum” – Kevin A.

Of all the bands that arrived in the ’90s that made pains to resolve their mutual love for both hard rock/metal and hip-hop, the only ones creating any music that could be talked about without giggling were the members of Bakersfield, California’s Korn. Early efforts, especially their 1998 album Follow The Leader and its follow up Issues, exhibited some engaging promise, showcasing a laudable ability to incorporate their two influences without it coming off like outtakes from the Judgment Night soundtrack or as Rage Against The Machine copycats.

98. John Squire – Marshall’s House

John Squire
Marshall’s House
(North Country)
release date: February 9th, 2004

Metascore: 49 out of 100
Metacritic user score: 6.0 out of 10

Representative Critical Commentary: “On the upside, ‘Marshall’s House’ is mercifully only 36 minutes (too) long.” – Chris Nye Browne, Yahoo Music UK

Representative Metacritic User Commentary: “Good enough” – James M

What is it about the comedown from the highs of success that tends to bring out the worst in most British musicians? Is it the pressure placed on them by that country’s fame-hungry press or the legions of fans who expect another The Queen Is Dead or Parklife out of their favorite musicians? Or is it simply a case that they’ve used up all the raw talent and ability they had on those few moments of glory, and now they are gone forever?

99. Adam Green – Gemstones

Adam Green
Gemstones
(Rough Trade)
release date: February 25, 2005

Metascore: 49 out of 100
Metacritic user score: 7.4 out of 10

Representative Critical Commentary: “Green’s self-consciously dweeby vocals hang his off-kilter lyrics like a doomed curveball.” – Marc Hogan, Pitchfork [read full review]

Representative Metacritic User Commentary: “great as hell, fine in words” – Tim Burton

As I was listening through this album by Adam Green in preparation for this week’s entry, I found myself gritting my teeth at the sound of the former Moldy Peach’s singing voice. And, as any right-thinking person looking at the second decade of the 21st century approaching would, I tweeted about it:

“Is there any more punchable singer than Adam Green (ex-Moldy Peaches)? This album is sending me into white hot rage.”

It was a pointed, snide comment (which is what Twitter is for, really) that I expected would be met with some blow back. I just didn’t expect it to come directly from Green himself.

He responded: “@Bob_Ham you r smarter than me with a charming personality… so be nice,alright?”

100. Nickelback – Dark Horse

Nickelback
Dark Horse
(Roadrunner)
release date: November 19th, 2008

Metascore: 49 out of 100
Metacritic user score: 4.5 out of 10

Representative Critical Commentary: “[Nickelback's] latest is ridiculously brazen, comically outsized, and defiantly Bruckheimer-esque.” – Garrett Kamps, Village Voice [read full review]

Representative Metacritic User Commentary: “Crap from a band who could do much better. I saw them in concert in harford and made the mistake of taking my 12 yr old. It was the biggest porno show (dildos,filthy talk etc attempt at stand up comedy i ever saw…But at least they played 7 or 8 songs….just so disappointed.” – Charlie M.

A note to eagle-eyed readers: I know that this album was bumped from the #100 slot of their worst-reviewed list. I’m going to write it up anyway because it was at that spot when I decided to take this project on and I needed something to make up for the time I spent listening to this piece of crap. I will hold to this rule from here on out that whatever album I am talking about here was in its listed spot at the time I check the site when gearing myself up to move forward.

Overall Assessment: There really is no better band to start this project off than with the Canadian power rockers Nickelback. In spite of the fact that they sell millions of records and concert tickets around the world, the general consensus among the people that I know can be easily summed up by a tweet I received from my friend Erik (written in response to my announcing this venture): “If ever there was a band whose every facet (songwriting, production, image) irritates me, Nickelback is that band. Brutal.”

Critics are equally baffled by the continued success of the band, as the above Village Voice quote spells out for you. Don’t expect to find their material in any Best of the Decade lists that you are going to be flooded with over the next month.